How to discipline your toddler with love, care and patience

“Lack of discipline is not kindness, it is neglect.”
- Infant Specialist and Childhood Educator Magda Gerber

Toddlerhood is an unpredictable, exciting experience, for both you and your child. It is the period where your little one begins to feel a sense of self and individuality, but lacks the developed logic, reasoning and communication skills to process all these changes without having tantrums and other disciplinary issues. One of the toughest, most frustrating tasks of parenting, disciplining often seems like an endless uphill struggle between the boundless curiosity of a child and the tempered learning of correct behavior.

Be Patient

It is of utmost importance to be patient and gently guide children through this phase without resorting to stress-inducing punishments or other anxiety causing activities. Remember, disciplining is meant to teach and guide, and not to scold and reprimand.

Keep your composure

Staying calm and composed keeps things cool for both you and your children. Make a concerted effort to avoid stressful situations. Nobody has spent more time with your toddler than you have, and you know best what upsets and soothes them. Nothing makes them feel more upset than hunger, sleepiness and a rapid shift to an unfamiliar environment, so diligently making sure all these are attended to in advance can go a long way.

Order and Consistency

Consistency is one major factor in this process. If the laptop is not to be touched today, it’s not to be touched tomorrow, and so on. Don’t get put off by repetition, as toddlers require a fair bit of it to inculcate the message into their tender little minds. Make it a point to be firm, but gentle.

Explain and Educate

Be well defined in your instructions. Set rules and make it clear what kind of behavior is fine and what is unacceptable. Simply saying ‘no’ to everything will not teach your child, as they will start to tune it out after a while. Follow it up with simple reasoning – ‘That’s not a toy’, ‘Daddy uses that for work’, ‘Don’t eat this, your tummy will hurt a lot’. This gives them a clear understanding of why such behavior is disapproved so repeat as many times as needed.

Art of distraction

If your child is behaving in a way that you deem inappropriate try to quickly redirect them to another enjoyable, allowed activity. For instance, if a child is playing with a glass vase, you could try distracting your child by directing him to a toy exclaiming, “Wow! What a lovely toy we have here.” Try not to force an activity on a child, instead distract and divert; it helps avoid a show-down between parents and toddlers.

Talk about it

Nobody said teaching discipline has to happen only in unpleasant situations such as a public reprimanding in supermarkets or flights, once something has been broken or bitten, or as a reaction to misbehavior itself. Explain dos and don’ts to your toddler in a happy, casual way, just like you would teach them about anything. Tell them stories with morals that affirm the same behavior you are trying to instill. This way, your child does not start to think of you as a ‘police’ like figure, which would lead to behave in front of you, but not so with others. Keep your little one as calm and relaxed as possible, and they will learn and absorb best. Never withhold affection, and always tell them that you love them as much as life itself.