Ten simple ways to teach morality to preschoolers

Children’s view of the world, especially that of toddlers is very different from that of adults. Toddlers or preschool children often have an egocentric view of the world, but don’t worry! This will reduce as they learn to take in different perspectives of a situation. Till then they assume that everyone sees things the same way that they do (if you play hide and seek with a young child you will notice how he hides in plain view by simply covering his own eyes, he assumes that if he cannot see anyone then, obviously no one can see him either!) and that as long they are doing something that protects the self-interest, they are doing the right thing. Understandably, the road to morality, a sense of justice and fair play is a slow and difficult one.

Piaget a leading child psychologist to emphasised how children’s morality grows with the increase in cognition, or mental reasoning, thinking and memory. The morality of preschool children was also described by Kohlberg. According to both, preschool children’s sense of fair play is based on –

Based on their perspectives, needs and whims. – For e.g. they may not like other children for not sharing, but may themselves not be able to share their own toy and give the explanation “I need it”. For them anything they believe is in their self-interest is their right, but cannot extend the same understanding to other children! On the basis of all this you should learn to understand that children do not mean to be selfish or self-centred, they just haven’t learnt any better.

Absolutes – Things will always be considered either good or bad without thinking of the consequences.

 Whether or not an action will evoke punishment – They believe that anything that results in punishment is wrong regardless of the reason that something was done and that anything that elicits a reward is correct.

In addition, they have an incomplete understanding of cause and effect. They believe that a bad (naughty) deed cannot go unpunished even if they are not caught. For e.g. Children often take the blame for things like divorce of their parents. “My parents are separating because I was a naughty child.”

Rules – Rules are always considered constants and breaking them is always wrong, even if they are just rules of a game.

Authority – They believe something said by a person in an authoritative position is always right.That is why it is so easy for someone older than them to convince them to do things.

     They do eventually start taking others perspectives into consideration. Still emphasis tends to remain on being a good boy or girl. Their helpful nature persists as long as they don’t hurt their self-interest. Children have the potential to be emphatic from a young age, the understanding of what other people feel, babies under the age of one cry when they hear others cry, and as they start to understand empathy, along with other positive emotions like sympathy, moral behaviour too grows.

Here are ten ways to help increase morality in children -

1. Model good behaviour – by good I mean moral, just, show them how you are helpful towards others. But also explain the act and how it made you feel good about yourself.
2. Use reasoning – when they do something selfish, explain why what they did was wrong. Teach them how they can do better. Make sure they start understanding that people have different perspectives.
3. A sorry should never be commanded, teach them to say sorry only if they mean it.
4. Encourage role playing – they will learn what it is like to be someone else and how different people feel differently.
5. Explain the concept of intentions and motives – make them realise that people are not absolutes; people may do a bad deed but may have reasons that justify the deed. Children may not understand this immediately but as they grow up they will realise that right and wrong are often mixed.
6. Let them come to their own solutions when faced with a dilemma.
7. Read them stories with morals and those that show that morality has its own rewards. It takes time for a child to understand abstract people. Try using real life people whom they know and real life rewards.
8. Always be honest and express how you feel about things.
9. Children do not often realise that the way they act may affect how others feel; make them realise there is a connection.
10. Always praise their good behaviour.