Boost creativity, intelligence and cognition with Music

Today, many parents or aspiring parents are familiar with the technique of incorporating music into a toddler’s upbringing. It has become accepted that music can play a vital role in giving the young ones’ brains a creative, intelligent boost. The most common ways this is done are by playing music to the child on a regular basis, or teaching them how to play music on their own, which has its own amazing set of benefits (the hand-eye coordination and the counterbalancing of one hand’s motions with the other when playing an instrument do wonders for a developing mind, whether toddler or teenager).

And then there is music that you didn’t even know was there – like the sing song tone of a mother’s voice, or a softy hummed lullaby.

In fact, talking to a baby in a sing song voice, in baby language (known as infant directed speech), helps the baby to attach the soothing tune and tone to a mother and her love.

Children process music, melody and sound patterns right from the beginning

From birth up till the age of 3, the brain is 2.5 more active than the adult brain. It is constantly learning, with an unquenchable curiosity for all the things their senses and the environment around them are exposing them to. Learning and absorbing of new information is happening every hour of every day, and there is no better time to give your baby’s brain a strong mental, emotional and logical foundation on which it will function for the rest of their precious lives.

How Music does its Magic

Music is the arrangement of structures consisting of sounds and beats following a distinct, layered pattern. If we took even a relatively simple song, broke it down into its separate components and asked you to listen to them individually and form, let alone remember, the tune, it would be a pretty hard task. But put them together (a song), and voila, not only can you remember everything about the melody with ease, but it can even get stuck in your head! This is not because the mind is somehow muting complexity, but because of the order and pattern found in music, it can process the separate components subconsciously and easily form a coherent, recognizable whole. This entire process, especially in young, developing minds, is a brilliant, tested way to vastly improve memory and cognitive skills.

As we talked about earlier, Myelination is programmed to majorly occur during this period, wherein neural connections and key neurological infrastructure are being formed. It is important to feed the brain and the nervous system with stimulation, love and learning experiences during this period so as to help the baby’s brain develop a strong, robust foundation.

  

Let their little worlds rock!

Their minds are at a point where every pleasure, no matter how small, is eventful. A melody that a baby enjoys, stays in her/his mind, and whenever she/he hears it, happiness ensues. Fill your child’s life with such experiences and you’re guaranteed to raise a cheerful, upbeat little firecracker!

What is your Parenting Style?

Suppose your child, let’s call him Sid, goes and pinches his little brother in his sleep when he thinks no one is looking and runs away. Sid is very young, how would you discipline him?

There are many ways to deal with the above situation –

1. You tell Sid to go to his room for the rest of the day and take away his favourite.
2. You, rather mildly, tell him that he did a bad thing and should not repeat it.
3. You sit down and ask your child why he did what he did, tell him why it was a bad idea and should not be repeated in the future, how he may hurt his younger brother and give him a minor punishment like not giving him desert after dinner.
4. You ignore the incident and let the children settle it themselves.

The ways of disciplining a child reflect important parenting styles as put forward by the psychologist “Diana Baumrind”. Each pattern of parenting tends to produce certain patterns of behaviours in their children.

1) “Authoritarian Parenting”. Parents are strict and controlling. They expect unquestioning obedience from their children. Their general rationale is “because I said so”. They are demanding, but they do not value their children’s opinions.
Children of authoritarian parents tend to be socially withdrawn. Girls become dependent on their parents and boys are unusually hostile. They have low self-esteem. They are good followers but because their parents make decisions for them they never learn to be self-reliant or have self-control. They aren’t independent since they are never encouraged to explore on their own. They start associating obedience and success with love.
Restrictions are important for children but so is warmth and love, and this is lacking in this style of parenting.

2) “Permissive Parenting”. This is often known as indulgent parenting. Parents place few restrictions on their children and give inconsistent feedback. They don’t expect self-control from their children so they rarely discipline them. They may be loving and nurturing but they don’t feel like they hold any responsibility over their children’s actions. They act more as friends then parents.
Their children tend to be dependent and moody; they display a lack of self-control and low social skills possibly because they were never taught any, for e.g. they may have good interpersonal skills but they may have never been taught to share.  They are often self-involved and demanding. They may be unruly at school, and have less motivation to do well. They often have problems with authority. Studies suggest that permissive parenting is linked to many forms of misconduct like underage drinking, drug abuse etc.

3)  “Authoritative Parenting”. This is largely considered the most effective style of parenting. The parents tend to be relatively strict and place clear and firm restrictions and demands on their children. They are also loving and warm. They explain why they are giving certain punishments and why they should not act in a certain way. They let their children explain the situation and change their responses accordingly; they are firm but also flexible. They encourage their children’s independence and help develop their reasoning skills. They act as role models so they help their children internalise these skills!
Their children tend to be happy, independent, friendly, assertive and cooperative. They are successful, likable and have a strong motivation to achieve. They learn to control their behaviour, emotions and relationships quite well since they know what to expect and what is expected of them in social situations. They are confident about their abilities to learn new skills.

4)  “Uninvolved Parenting”. They are emotionally detached from their children and feel that their role is simply to provide food, money, shelter etc. they display no interest in their children and in this way communicate rejection. They have no expectations from their children and often show very little warmth, love and affection towards their children. In fact in a more severe form this results in neglect which is a form of child abuse.
This style often develops because parents are too busy with their work or their problems to realise how uninvolved they are as parents and sometimes because their own parents were uninvolved.
Their children have a disrupted emotional development. They feel unloved. Their physical and cognitive development is lowered; they perform badly in almost every area of life. Their lack of social skills may be because they were never taught appropriate behaviours in social situation. They may be afraid of depending on anyone else. They often exhibit delinquent behaviour as adolescents and are at a high risk for substance abuse.

There are of course many exceptions, children of authoritarian or permissive parents may be successful, and of authoritative style may not. It is best to use an adaptable style of parenting, switching into a more dominant style of parenting in certain extreme cases (where the children’s safety in concerned) and sometimes being more permissive as they grow. Parent’s actions are very important in shaping their children’s behaviour and success in life! 

Brain Food for your Child

As we’ve spoken about in our previous posts, the brain of a young child/ toddler is undergoing crucial, rapid development and is going through a sea of changes as it forms and matures, becoming the most complex and fascinating organ of our bodies.

The Importance of Diet

It goes without saying that diet, nutrition and both physical and mental well

being plays a huge part in shaping our young brains. The brain is the body’s most demanding unit, consuming more calories than any other. According to Dr. Vikram Singh, a neurologist at Moolchand Medcity in New Delhi, “It uses up roughly half the calories we consume every day”.

It is essential that the brain gets its regular supply of vital nutrients, minerals and other forms of nourishment to ensure its healthy development.

What to Eat

Omega 3 Fatty Acids

Foods containing Omega 3, such as fish and plant oils, are on the biggest contributors to brain health. Peanut Butter is a great brain food that contains Omega 3 and it’s something that all kids love. Add a touch of sweetness and health by adding chopped berries, like blueberries, to a peanut butter sandwich, your kids will love it! Berries are also rich in antioxidants, which are responsible for keeping your brain and your body fresh and maintained from the inside.

Veggies!

Broccoli, Cauliflower and Beans might not by your child’s favorite food, but they’re all high in choline, a nutrient essential for developing memory and the channels through which the brains communicates with the rest of the body. There you go, another reason for your children all their greens!

Whole Grains

By now, most people know about the benefit of whole grains to our diet, and it’s not surprising that they do wonders for children too. These complex carbohydrates are one of the most important sources of energy (Glucose). Unlike sweets and other sugary foods, which have glucose but lack fiber, whole grains such as whole grain bread, pasta and cereal deliver and create energy in the body in a slower, more natural process, so you won’t have to worry about hyperactivity and crankiness usually displayed by small children upon consuming sugary foodstuff. This is also relatively simple to inculcate in their diets, since all kids love cereal. Simply buy a whole grain version the next time, it might cost a little more, but your kids are worth it. Same goes for the bread you make their sandwiches with.

Milk and Ghee

The importance of a regular supply of cow’s milk cannot be understated. Rich in so many essential nutrients, it is described in Ayurveda as an essential brain food, along with Ghee. Especially at a young, tender age, milk protein helps form neurotransmitters and mental acuity. Combining milk with another well known, ayurvedic brain food – Almonds, gives it an even greater nutritional punch.

Be wholesome and Holistic

As always, remember that a wide variety of food and a balanced diet is what is required for a healthy body as well as a healthy mind. Avoid foods that contain additives, preservatives and other chemicals you’re not sure about. Don’t assume that food companies always have your child’s best interests in mind and always be aware. Buy fresh food, and only feed your child organic, unprocessed produce.

Ensuring the Healthy Development of Your Child’s Brain

Using cutting edge technology such an in-depth MRI scans, scientists today have painstakingly put together each and every process that our brains undergo in their development, from conception to death. In the course of this research, the scientific community has reached a virtual consensus that the major chunk of our brain’s development falls in the age 0-3 category, setting the stage and factors for life ahead in a myriad of ways. It is at this stage that greatest care must be taken to ensure that a child enjoys opportunities to explore, create, make mistakes and learn in an environment of love, trust and happiness. The inculcating of the values you want your child to espouse in this period itself is crucial, and it is during this phase that these values, or the lack of them, get cemented.

The Newborn Brain

At birth, our brains have already undergone some degree of development – we have the ability to breathe, see, eat, sleep, hear, smell, vocalize and recognize the touch and faces of people close to us. But this is minor compared to the rapid growth experienced up till age 3, at which the brain is already at 75% of its expected adult size. All areas of the brain experience this growth and development, from logic, reason and language to creativity, personality and individual tendencies. Billions of new cells are produced in this period and literally hundreds of trillions of cell connections are formed within the brain (1000 trillion synapses by age 3).

Nature vs. Nurture

The science has confirmed to us what we intuitively know: that both our genetics and the environment play equally important roles in defining who we become as individuals. Genes set the wiring and basic framework of our nervous systems, while experience moulds, shapes and fine tunes this elaborate network to make us who we are. Genes are responsible for the proper functioning of this system, its development and maintenance, and in this sense, the roles they play are fixed. Experience and the surrounding environment play the part of the dynamic element that makes us distinct individuals, and even go so far as to influence the physical structure of the brain during development! This clearly indicates that a lack of care, stimulation and parental warmth heavily contribute to the inadequate development of healthy mind, leading the flaws in the child’s (and eventually adult’s) persona.

Critical Period

It is thus easily understood that this is a critical period of a child’s life, and that careful attention needs to be paid to all aspects of his/her upbringing to ensure that all areas of the mind get their stimulation, exercise and training.

• Your baby is building his visual skills, and identifies things and people. Encourage and reward this behavior, as it builds spatial and recognition abilities.
• Verbal input from the parent is vital for language skills to develop. A child will not learn on his/her own, and needs your constant guidance with words, pronunciation and grammar.
• Be patient – Children at this stage process information slowly, as their brains are undergoing a process known as myelination, wherein the brains are forming myelin, white fatty tissue that is crucial for the clear, fast transmission of signals and messages across nerve networks.
• Memories – As babies, we are all born with implicit memories. These are subconscious memories, such as remembering the sound of a mother’s voice. Explicit Memory develops from age 2, and thus the system of conscious learning, on which all behavior is based, begins.

The key to growing a healthy mind is to let it grow naturally. Let your child learn from experience and a gentle, loving guidance. Fear and stressful situations should be avoided at all costs at such an impressionable age, and remember, the more love and care you incorporate into your approach now, the happier your children will grow to be for the rest of their lives.

How to discipline your toddler with love, care and patience

“Lack of discipline is not kindness, it is neglect.”
- Infant Specialist and Childhood Educator Magda Gerber

Toddlerhood is an unpredictable, exciting experience, for both you and your child. It is the period where your little one begins to feel a sense of self and individuality, but lacks the developed logic, reasoning and communication skills to process all these changes without having tantrums and other disciplinary issues. One of the toughest, most frustrating tasks of parenting, disciplining often seems like an endless uphill struggle between the boundless curiosity of a child and the tempered learning of correct behavior.

Be Patient

It is of utmost importance to be patient and gently guide children through this phase without resorting to stress-inducing punishments or other anxiety causing activities. Remember, disciplining is meant to teach and guide, and not to scold and reprimand.

Keep your composure

Staying calm and composed keeps things cool for both you and your children. Make a concerted effort to avoid stressful situations. Nobody has spent more time with your toddler than you have, and you know best what upsets and soothes them. Nothing makes them feel more upset than hunger, sleepiness and a rapid shift to an unfamiliar environment, so diligently making sure all these are attended to in advance can go a long way.

Order and Consistency

Consistency is one major factor in this process. If the laptop is not to be touched today, it’s not to be touched tomorrow, and so on. Don’t get put off by repetition, as toddlers require a fair bit of it to inculcate the message into their tender little minds. Make it a point to be firm, but gentle.

Explain and Educate

Be well defined in your instructions. Set rules and make it clear what kind of behavior is fine and what is unacceptable. Simply saying ‘no’ to everything will not teach your child, as they will start to tune it out after a while. Follow it up with simple reasoning – ‘That’s not a toy’, ‘Daddy uses that for work’, ‘Don’t eat this, your tummy will hurt a lot’. This gives them a clear understanding of why such behavior is disapproved so repeat as many times as needed.

Art of distraction

If your child is behaving in a way that you deem inappropriate try to quickly redirect them to another enjoyable, allowed activity. For instance, if a child is playing with a glass vase, you could try distracting your child by directing him to a toy exclaiming, “Wow! What a lovely toy we have here.” Try not to force an activity on a child, instead distract and divert; it helps avoid a show-down between parents and toddlers.

Talk about it

Nobody said teaching discipline has to happen only in unpleasant situations such as a public reprimanding in supermarkets or flights, once something has been broken or bitten, or as a reaction to misbehavior itself. Explain dos and don’ts to your toddler in a happy, casual way, just like you would teach them about anything. Tell them stories with morals that affirm the same behavior you are trying to instill. This way, your child does not start to think of you as a ‘police’ like figure, which would lead to behave in front of you, but not so with others. Keep your little one as calm and relaxed as possible, and they will learn and absorb best. Never withhold affection, and always tell them that you love them as much as life itself.

FOR YOUR CHILD TO GROW…LEARN TO LET GO!!!

“Plain old babysitting is expensive – early childhood education is priceless”

The first few years of a child’s life provide a vital opportunity for development of the physical, cognitive and socio-emotional development. The learnings of a child during this age will set a stage for the rest of the child’s life. According to experts, almost 90% of the child’s brain is developed by the age of five. Children in this age group must be exposed to an enriching environment to tap this ‘window of opportunity’. Attending a quality preschool equips children with life skills that prepare them for school and beyond.

Academics

"There's increasing evidence that children gain a lot from going to preschool," says Parents advisor Kathleen McCartney, PhD, dean of Harvard Graduate School of Education, in Cambridge, Massachusetts. At preschool, children are introduced to numbers, letters and shapes. They are given the opportunity to improve reading skills, motor skills, have richer vocabulary and stronger math skills. Sandhya Sridhar, a mom to a 12 year old, residing at Besant Nagar, Chennai recollects, “The Montessori training that my son got at his preschool helped him stand out in his class during formal school. The activities at the preschool strengthened his motor skills; there was no need for me to hold his hand when he started to write.”

Social skills

Children are able and eager to learn right from birth. However, development does not happen by itself. It depends on the exposure that a child gets and the environment that enables positive interactions. Preschools empower children with good social and behaviour management skills that help them find long-term happiness and success in life as they grow older. They learn to communicate, find meaning through their own explorations and assert their independence and individuality.

Professional parenting

Good preschools work collaboratively with parents to build on their strengths and guide them, so that their children may grow up having a sense of family, culture and community. Children benefit immensely by having parents who are better equipped to meet their child-rearing responsibilities.

Preschool – A solution for working parents

In today’s age when joint families are giving way to nuclear families where both parents are working, preschools are generally an option for children to be taken care of during the day. Preschools are definitely a better option than informal help. Parents need to understand that the person who cares for their child many hours a week makes a difference in their child's life and well-being. So it is indeed important to decide who the child interacts with during the day. Quality preschools have trained teachers who will build a positive relationship with children and will empower them with a sense of trust which is a prerequisite to all learning.Some companies provide workplace nurseries for their employees as a work flexibility option. Such nurseries offer parents a space where they can be at work and with their child at the same time. Working moms can breast feed her child; have video calls for an occasional check, ensuring that their child remains close by in a safe environment.

A preschool is indeed a place where a child can gain a sense of self, interact with peers and build confidence.

Being a working mom is an attitude!

“Sometimes the best man for the job isn't.” 

~Anonymous

Can you be a good mom and a good employee? That’s the billion dollar question that many working moms are striving to find. Is there a magic mantra that can allow you to be at two places at once? Is the term ‘super mom’ for real? Women, including men, would appreciate that it is indeed very tough to juggle family and work. Many tough circus acts pale in comparison to the balancing act of being a good employee and a good mother. However, being a valued employee and a good mother need not be mutually exclusive.

What defines a successful career oriented working mom, efficient in both worlds, is attitude.

·    Attitude towards the decision to work: Although the number of women joining the corporate sector is increasing, there is one thing that working moms have in common – guilt. Guilt is a pervasive emotion that tugs the chords of the heart of most working moms who often question, “Am I spending enough time with kids?” The consensus among social scientists, who have been researching the problem since 1930’s, holds that absence of working moms from homes does not hurt their child; what matters is whether a mother feels good about whether she works or stays home. Research evidence suggests that when working mothers have a positive attitude towards their decision to work, they are more likely to encourage their children’s independence.

·     Attitude towards alternate childcare options: Letting go of your children so that they could grow is an attitude that will benefit both the mother and the child in the long run.  In today’s age when joint families are giving way to nuclear families where both parents are working, preschools are generally an option for children to be taken care of during the day. Ask for flexibility options such as remote working, workplace nurseries from your employer.

·     Attitude to delegate: Also, looking for opportunities that add hours to your day is an attitude you must develop. Outsourcing your chores is an excellent way of doing so; it will give you those extra hours with your kids. Being a wonderful cook must not stop you from hiring some form of help in the kitchen during workdays. You could always cook those special meals your children love on weekends and holidays.

·      Attitude towards your job: Finally, follow your passion. Your attitude towards your job spills into your life outside work. Some studies indicate children of mothers who are dissatisfied with their jobs show more signs of poor adjustment than children of non-working mothers or mothers who like their work.

Be positive! Understand that you are not a super human. You may miss your child’s parent teacher meet or you may miss a business dinner. Don’t be apologetic about either. Having the right attitude will help you strike a right balance between profession and parenthood.